When tragedy strikes...

This is gonna be a tough one...I think I had to type that to remind myself to get the Kleenex.

Tragedy stinks. There's no way to sugar coat it.  It seems to hit when you are already down and clouds your vision.  It is often gut wrenching and debilitating. But we heal and get over it.  For me, when my life was turned upside down, I never saw a silver lining and it seemed I should just camp out in my misery BECAUSE IT KEPT RAINING.  Ever had one of those days where everything went wrong. Like it started bad and didn't get any better.  That was my life a few years ago.

My mom always said there would be mountains and valleys and that if we kept our eyes open God would be there, right alongside us.  Valleys are dark and covered in fear.  But I swear I was content there. My rationale was that if I was already in a valley, how could I possibly experience another fall from the mountain. The roller coaster lifestyle wasn't for me.  I prefer the easy road.  I was mad.  I was vengeful. I was sad. I was BROKEN. Into a million pieces.  Every see a window break?  All those little fragments of glass flying every where.  We often clean up the big pieces and put on a pretty face but its those little slivers that are hiding we forget about until something happens to remind us and we find ourselves once again cut and bleeding.

Pretty picture huh?  You could put my face next to that paragraph and it would describe me perfectly. I was really good at smiling and acting like I was ok.  I could even tell you I was.  But the nights I was alone, crying myself to sleep. The bottomless ache in my stomach.  Those feelings you can't forget.

You know what I have learned?  IT CAN'T RAIN ALL THE TIME.  It just can't.  Every cloud has a silver lining.  The sun will shine. And I can smile.  Sometimes through tears, but I can and I have.

I knew that in order to get out of my self destruction I was going to have to listen to those around me who loved me, but more importantly, I was going to have to listen to God. The Bible tells us in John 16:33 some pretty awesome information.  "I have said these things to you; that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. "   And it gets better.  Romans 12:19 says, Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."  The Bible was speaking truth to me and in volumes.

My all time favorite verse is Phil 4:13. Most of you know it but I had to live it.  "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me."  It was time to start the climb back up the mountain and know that even though another valley may follow, God was there right by me. It was time to start experiencing God's love and let him work.  IT WAS ABOUT TIME.

As I sat at the computer this morning, I think back to how long ago that time was.  It seems forever ago, but it only took reading one sentence on Facebook to send me back there. It took a bad meeting with a dear friend to bring out the clouds.  One of those little slivers of glass came out from hiding and I was hurt.  You see, I am trying to see how one person's tragedy can become another persons blessing. How can one person smile and be happy when another person is crying and broken? How can God allow hurt feelings to fester and scar friendships?  This morning as I sat, I read in Ruth. Verse 16 hit me upside the head.  "But Ruth replied, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay, I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God."

Like this we have to realize that God is there.  He will never leave us. Tragedy is painful but staying faithful to God allows him to work.  It allows him to show us that he is there.  It may just be the sunshine on some days but he is always there.  Tragedy doesn't take away responsibility and we have choices to decisions to make every single day. Are we going to grow from hard conversations?  Are we going to camp out in the valley and live there? Or are we going to strap on our boots and climb up the mountain, knowing God is holding the rope? We have to make the decision to stay with God.  He is already there and promises to stay with us.  

So how is my tragedy another person's blessing?  Well the way I see it is God knew what I needed when I needed it, even if it was hurtful and hard. He knew that decisions made would have consequences, even bad ones.  He knew that I would hit rock bottom.  But he also knew that I would get up with his help. What I lost someone else needed more.  God has a unique was of working things out and I CHOOSE to TRUST him.