Letters to him...

Wednesday (2 weeks later)...

I felt so much better yesterday. After praying over you, after getting confirmation Addie would be coming over.  Its normal but not. You're not part of it.   And the pain I get every time I think of a memory is gut wrenching. It takes my breath away.

I messed a lot of things up.  I have some stuff to deal with on my own. Just don't forget us and walk away like I didn't exist. I did...and I am still here. You keep talking to me like we just met. I wonder if you're even sad. I wonder if you even miss me. But most of all, I wonder if you even want to try again.  Have you written me off like I was never a part of your life? Have you taken my pictures down? Have you discarded them into the trash or a drawer like your feelings for me?  I never intended for this to happen.  I just wanted to matter to you like you mattered to me.

Yesterday was also the day I realized you were trying. You picked me up that day and carried me inside the lodge.  You laid me down...

Another day you wrapped your arms around me and held me from behind...

Don't let those things disappear. We can get through this. God will help us if we let him guide us. If Jesus can restore the church and the temple and has faith in people, he can restore this relationship. Lay everything in front of him. Bare your soul. Comebacks are way better than setbacks.